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Real Bride, Kash: 10 Things Married Me Would Tell Newly Engaged Me

Claudia Judd June 5, 2026 5 Min Read

10 Things Married Me Would Tell Newly Engaged Me

After somewhere between one and one and a half years of marriage (depending entirely on whether you count from from civil ceremony or main wedding in Portugal's Douro Valley), I look back at being a bride-to-be as such a special and exciting time. But getting engaged comes with a whirlwind of emotions: definitely exciting, very emotional, often overwhelming, and sometimes a little chaotic. Looking back now, there are so many little things I wish I could tell my newly engaged self, aside from the most important one which is to slow down and enjoy it all.

Here are the ten things married me would tell newly engaged me.

1. A longer engagement isn’t a bad thing

At the beginning, I wanted to start doing everything immediately. I couldn’t contain my excitement. But having time to plan, breathe, save, and actually enjoy being engaged ended up being such a gift. The engagement season goes so quickly anyway, so I’m so glad I had time to take it all in.

2. Say yes to the bridal moments

The engagement party, wedding dress appointments, dinners with your bridesmaids, your hen weekend, spontaneous celebrations, lean into all of it. So many people who love you are excited to celebrate this chapter with you, and whether you have one bridal celebration or far too many (like me), those moments become some of the best memories.

3. Research your vendors thoroughly

Your vendors shape so much of your experience, not just on the wedding day itself. Take your time deciding, ask questions, read reviews, get recommendations, and choose people who genuinely make you feel calm, understood, and cared for. The right team changes everything, not just on the day but in the lead up to it. If you don't know where to start, we've compiled a Directory of our trusted wedding partners.

4. Invest in the details that are just for you

Some of the most special pieces are the ones only you and your closest people will ever see: the embroidered handkerchief for the ceremony, the garter with your new surname, the personalised robe on the morning of. Those are the small details that guests might not see that add that extra charm to your day.

5. Trust the vision when dress shopping

Wedding dress shopping can be overwhelming and it really can require patience. Take people whose opinions you love and trust, or go on your own, either way, remember to stay true to what you like rather than what you think your guests will. Sample dresses may not fit perfectly in the showroom, and sometimes it takes imagination to see the final result. The dress that becomes the one may not fit perfectly when you try it, but if you can’t stop thinking about it and it gives you that feeling, trust the process.

6. Let people help you

Especially when it comes to bridal events. You don't have to control every single detail. Assign roles to your bridesmaids and lean into their strengths: who's best with the camera, who's the most punctual, who will hold everything together when you're getting your veil pinned. This goes for vendors too. Some of the most meaningful moments come from letting the people around you pour into you.

7. Build more flexibility into the budget than you think you need

There are always unexpected costs along the way. Giving yourselves a little breathing room financially makes the planning process feel far more enjoyable and far less stressful.

8. Talk about the marriage, not just the wedding

The wedding is one beautiful day but the marriage is the real beginning. Use your engagement season to have conversations about the future: where you'll live, finances, traditions, family, goals, and the life you want to build together. These conversations matter more than the seating chart.

9. Curate your bridal wardrobe intentionally

Your bridal wardrobe is more than what you'll wear on your wedding day, and the right pieces can take you through the whole journey. Your engagement party look can be reworn for a night of your hen, your embroidered swim for your wedding weekend can carry you straight into your honeymoon. Think about the full picture and choose pieces that move with you through your engagement.

10. If you can, take the honeymoon straight after the wedding

There's something very special about the time you spend together as newlyweds immediately after your wedding, just the two of you, soaking it all in before real life resumes. Whether it's a minimoon with a bigger trip to follow, or you head off on your main honeymoon straight away like I did, having that time just after the wedding to reminisce, look through your previews, and just be together is just as special as the wedding.

Final Thoughts

If I could tell newly engaged me one thing above all else, it would be: don't get so caught up creating the perfect wedding that you forget to enjoy being engaged. The anticipation, the planning nights together, the celebrations with people you love, the Hen, one day, you'll look back on this season and miss those moments incredibly.