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The Wedding Before the Wedding

Claudia Judd 6 Min Read
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When we decided to get legally married before our destination wedding in France, I thought of it as the legal bit. Something to tick off before the real celebrations in September. 

I could not have been more wrong.

The Wedding Before the Wedding

The Wedding Before the Wedding

Don't treat the legal ceremony like paperwork

On Saturday 22nd August, we married at my fiancé's family church in Cheshire, surrounded by our closest family and friends. What started as a plan for 10 people grew quickly once friends and family who could not travel to France asked if they could celebrate with us. How could we say no.

The church meant a great deal to my fiancé and his family. It is their local church, so marrying there felt like exactly the right place to start. There is something surreal about saying your vows in a church too. You see it in films for years, and then suddenly you are standing there yourself, saying "till death do us part." It felt very real.

The vows were the most emotional part of the day, by far. Once it was over, we got into the car to head home and finally had a moment to take it in. We were actually married.

My biggest piece of advice is not to let the legal wedding become a tick-box exercise. It is arguably the most important part, because it is the moment you actually commit to each other in the eyes of the law.

The Wedding Before the Wedding

The Wedding Before the Wedding

The morning of

Get ready with your girls. Have breakfast. Put your playlist on. Have a glass of fizz. Take photographs. Do whatever makes it feel like your wedding,

The morning was one of my favourite parts. John got ready with us at the start, which made the whole thing feel different from a usual wedding morning. The girls gave him a little under-eye touch-up and I pinned his flower onto his jacket. We had fruit, hair and make-up, and they gave me a framed photograph of me and John. We also tested the wedding playlist I had been building, with a glass of fizz in hand.

I had a few Gigi & Olive details with me too: my embroidered "Mrs E to Be" tank, a Bride phone case, and a linen embroidered fan with our initials in blue. I had a "Just Married" fan ready for later in the day as well. Small things, but they made the morning feel like a wedding rather than a legal formality.

Then came the moment that made it all real. We waved John off to the pub with the boys, and the girls and I carried on getting ready. Suddenly, it was actually happening. Evangeline was with us to capture the day, and we were in the car off to the church!

I wish I had given myself more of a pause before the ceremony. The morning was busy with make-up, photographs and getting to the church, and it went by so quickly. In France, I am going to build in time on purpose to breathe and take it all in.

The Wedding Before the Wedding

The Wedding Before the Wedding

Make the most of having a second celebration

I worried that walking down the aisle with my dad before France might take something away from the big wedding. It has done the opposite. I feel even more excited for it.

I also feel lucky that I get to experience it twice. The Cheshire day went so quickly, and it has made me realise how important it is to be present for the next one.

It also gave us the chance to celebrate with people who will not be able to travel to France. Having everyone together was the most special part of the day, and it is not something you can buy back later.

You don't need to recreate your big wedding

Our celebration afterwards was deliberately relaxed: a garden party with feasting-style food, chilled wine, music, flowers in little jam jars, white bunting, hanging lights, and "Just Married" balloons.

My mother-in-law arranged the flowers, the food, and an incredible lemon sponge made by a friend. We had a speaker friends could connect to, and as the sun went down, we wrapped ourselves in blankets and danced.

I loved the small personal details throughout the afternoon too. We used an engraved Gigi & Olive cake knife to cut the cake, and the embroidered fans were perfect as the afternoon warmed up. Our guest book was there too, so friends and family who will not be joining us in France could still leave their messages.

Later in the evening, I changed into my "Mrs Edmunds" embroidered jeans, which felt like the perfect way to carry the Bridal feeling into the party without staying in a formal dress all night.

The best moments were not the details, though. They were Granny dancing on the table at midnight, and FaceTiming family in Philadelphia who could not be there.

My take away tip: Just enjoy the moment. People are there to celebrate you.

The Wedding Before the Wedding

The Wedding Before the Wedding

Capture the people

We had Evangeline photograph the day, and I am so glad we did. At first I was not sure whether having a photographer would make the legal wedding feel like too much of an event in its own right. But with family there who will not be in France, I did not want to miss the chance to capture it.

It is not just the photographs of the two of us either. Looking back, I love seeing friends chatting to family, and my grandmother talking to my fiancé's grandmother, moments you would not necessarily notice on the day itself.

If you are having a legal ceremony before a destination wedding, make sure someone captures it, even if it is not a professional photographer for the whole day. It all feels like a blur afterwards, and you will be grateful to have those moments to look back on.

And yes, more outfits

I chose a long-sleeved, collared lace De La Vali dress because it felt elegant and right for the church. Having a different look also made the two wedding days feel distinct, and, let's be honest, more outfits is a very good reason to get married twice.

I borrowed my grandmother's aquamarine ring as my something blue, something borrowed, and something old. Her mother gave it to her for her own wedding, and my cousin wore it last year. Continuing that small family tradition felt special.

My final piece of advice: practise walking in your shoes. Mine were out of stock in my size, so I bought them a size too big and discovered I could not walk in them. Luckily, I had a back-up pair.

The Wedding Before the Wedding

The Wedding Before the Wedding

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